Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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