So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
