so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
