Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
