Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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