Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
