Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
