names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
