I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
