And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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