brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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