Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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