Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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