Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
