I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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