In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
