oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
