I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
