Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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