dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
