I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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