Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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