We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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