normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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