Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
My breasts were aching with rage.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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