I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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