Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
