Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
