I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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