I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize
