WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
