David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
