are you still at the devil's house?
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
