so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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