Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
