my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
