Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
