Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
