That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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