Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
