It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
