Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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