Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
