I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
