Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
