wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
