Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Come share oat with me in your robe
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
