pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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