just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We are two peas in an std pod
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
