You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
