can u get pink eye on your cock?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
