someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
