I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
